few days ago a new patient contacts me and makes me question:
"Is it possible that my children one 17 and another 19 who are separated for years with his mother which do not respect, to recover my authority as a parent with them or be friends? "
No doubt it's a family situation where authority is escaped of the hands of both parents and children make and unmake as adults NOW. This query reminded me that in almost 80% of the respondents from families in which all its members live together even as they are separated there is an eternal conflict between first I must attend to my children or my relationship with my partner.
Consider first the case of the father ... Already
ending with 2 teenage children and entering an age where parents do not need more than to meet your cats and have to eat or sleep is more difficult the situation. As I told the father the first thing is to focus on how to reconnect with them, may have been 1 year and months since I did not see or talked to them and if they did was to ask for things. Order to strengthen the new link after you have with them. It is obvious that more than a parent will have to show a friend the other role besides that of father, but as do not mix both? and as marking the limits?
are two points to consider:
1. Admitting mistakes that could make them and learn to handle the responses began to give or not their children. Criticisms may arise, scolded things, maybe even seek to exploit this situation to receive compensation for time not served and not wanting to talk to the i hear. All this makes one an adult and father have to rethink the way they see their children, who are now entering adulthood.
2. Being parents of a child from 3 different one of 6 to 9 and one is nothing to be boys and 12 or 18, each year increase in life is getting more complex but not difficult, itself becomes complicated when it failed to meet their emotional needs for a long time to feel alone and they have 2 options: rebel and show challenging behaviors or have to learn to grow more rapidly as a result they believe do not need anymore to parent.
But back to what I mentioned at the beginning of this note, that 80% of cases or more query the parents get into a terrible contradiction and confusion ... I repeat what is that for an adult is more difficult to leave the problem for a child because the child has fewer years to the conflict, but it is still highly impressive, while the average adult over 30 to have at least more than 15 years and with one or more issues that have caused him discomfort.
not mean that one is easier than the other or that one is worse and the other not, simply are 2 different aspects. Now in the case of adolescents although they will be easier to get out of distress compared to their parents, the experience of feeling overwhelmed by years of conflict or things they were silent and did not support more that makes Adolesc ... that is why teenagers are told and many of the adults and even dial parents of other children, although they remain in that pain.
This father is concerned for their children is entering a difficult age, and do not want to see things get crime or harm them in any way, but who treats the pain not only as parents but as an adult man is and maybe he sees that life is complicated couple, did not address the emotional needs of their children in time and now suffers from it and is NOT easy to get out of that pain
INSITE is why in the "preventive" in counseling during the first 3 years of life for parents, as they are in the capacity to develop themselves the emotional profile of each of their children and from the 3 and older learn to deal with the experiences of their children, these tantrums, tantrums, disobedience, hyperactivity or sorrows of their children as parents help them grow and learn from their little masters his CHILDREN.
But the issue of partner is also important, and the best prevention can be done even before a relationship with someone else is to rethink their life goals, ordered the first one (A) and get things straight.
Stay tuned to what is present them with either sus hijos, su pareja o con ustedes mismos, solo ustedes son los que deciden en que momento se resuelven sus conflictos cada etapa de la vida es maravillosa.
Los espero para trabajar con sus hijos, con sus parejas o solos, y podamos trabajar en FAMILIA nuestras nuevas VIVENCIAS, con las lecciones que cada miembro de nuestro entorno nos da.
0 comments:
Post a Comment